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Day 2 – No Thanks

January 9, 2012

So okay, scratch that. No disrespect Aunty Oprah…but I’ve changed my mind.

This glorious New Years Day, I mean week two of this Glorious New Year, I decide that Gratitude Journal will now be renamed ‘Soul’ and it, okay, ‘You’ will be the voice of my soul, you will be the bin I dump the litter of my life in and hopefully as I fill you with my deepest and darkest, you Soul will slowly reveal who I’m supposed to blame for all of this not makingit-ness. And then once realised I can go and drag them into the middle of a big crowd and slap them on both cheeks with a leather glove as they did in the olden days and shake my fist at them. Or something like that.

And maybe then I’ll revisit the whole Gratitude Journal thing at a later more stable stage. I’m sure Aunty Oprah will understand.

Cos how can I be thankful for the fact mum and dad got  divorced, cos dad brought home the woman with the blonde wig, not realising mum was home with me cos I threw up at school…


…Now he’s back and successful and married and rich but refuses to speak to us cos he’s got ‘only one ejected from the family issues’. Little gratitude to show for Agnes, Big Sis 1…

which makes mum’s pressure rise cos she’s re-living her mothering years babysitting quite rowdy grandchildren.

Hard to say thanks for Roberta, Big Sis 2…

Which further toys with mum’s blood pressure cos Mum’s a DEVOUT BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN


Okay, actually, I could give thanks and be grateful for ‘The Girls’. Dionne, Tameka, and Margaret. (Who I must say did a damn good job of guiding me through the battlefield that is Boys. And Growing Boobs. And Boys. And Kissing. And Boys. And Fighting. And Boys. And Uni. And Sex. And Work. And Boys – cos it’s not like they ever grow up is it)…and I spose Chris and David who are ‘The Boys’ did their part as stand in brothers whilst my real siblings were otherwise occupied.

But yet still. For all my thanks and gratitude to my step-family I have to admit ‘The Girls’ and ‘The Boys’ have been growing apart recently.

It’s like we’re competing in the Best Friends Olympics, where the ultimate goal is to be married, great well paying jobbed, raising beautiful well mannered brainy children, own a big car and a big house with a big garden which is very definitely way far out from the ‘hood’! And as competitive as we are, this race is wearing our binding ties very thin.

Cos when I want to reminisce with ‘The Girls’ I can’t cos Tameka aka Tamz

…is always out dating and being carefree with her vagina and her whimsical life as a freelancing fashionista type!

Margaret aka Mags…

…doesn’t have time cos she’s the only one who’s married and pregnant and her husband doesn’t like her talking to ‘them damn hot girls’ who he believes want to drag Mags into a world of single girl whoredom.

Dionne aka Dee…

…can’t cos her man’s inside and her son is a handful. No scratch that. J’ah’Marnii is about 5 hands full and whenever you speak to Dee you can’t cos the conversation goes like this:

‘Really, so what did you…. J’AH’MARNII! Don’t! 

‘Okay go on… J’AH’MARNII! Don’t let me knock you out…Sorry what were you sayin’?’

J’AH’MARNII! I’m comin’ 2 bruk your leg if you don’t stop kicking the TV…’

‘Right go on, so you said to…J’AH’MARNII!!!…Ebs lemme call you back yeah.’

And plus Dionne’s as depressed as me and Soul, two depressions do not make a healing, so…we avoid calling each other, even though we really should…So when…one minute…

Soul Pages Disclaimer: Insight in2 the mind of Ebony…fact, fiction & life. U decide which is which! Enjoy xxx


From → The Soul Pages

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